


Once Burned

by Dirty_Corza



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Sibling Incest, Trans Character, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-20
Updated: 2012-10-20
Packaged: 2017-11-16 17:04:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/541816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dirty_Corza/pseuds/Dirty_Corza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Trans!Sam, Dean feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Once Burned

“Dean?”

Dean flinched away from Sam's touch as he reached for him,immediately reaching for the spot Sam touched as if it burned. He turned his face away from his brother, as if hiding something disfiguring. 

“Dean, what's the matter?”

He heard the concern in Sam's voice, but it only made it worse as he shook his head. He couldn't face his brother like this, not when he had just watched him face that woman, pull the trigger with tears in his eyes, and all Dean could feel was jealousy. His heart ached for Sam, true, he didn't know how he did it, how he could face down someone who gave him a level of acceptance Dean never could, and just...

“Talk to me!”

Dean snapped out of his reverie as a shirt hit him in the face, hard enough the buttons stung his cheek. “I-I can't Sam. I just- I'm sorry, but I can't right now.” There were a million things he wanted to tell his brother, a million and one things he wanted to apologize for, and he couldn't, for fear of the other things that would spill out. The confessions, the desires, including the dark secret desire that had crept up on him when he was unaware.

It had snuck up on him, he hadn't expected it at all. For years, Sam had been his little sister, even if only in his head in the years after that summer. And somehow, hunting with him again, Dean had to work to see anything other than man in him. Sam saved his life as many times as he saved him. These past months had turned his world upside down, or maybe it had turned it right-side up.

He was finally getting to the point where Sam was more man than woman to him, which was great, fantastic even. Or it would be, if he knew it was in a purely dude-you're-my-brother type of way. But it wasn't, and that scared the hell out of him. Because the more he saw Sam for who he was, for who Sam saw himself as, the more Dean wanted something he shouldn't. This man Sam, this man who matured so much in the years at college without Dean, was someone Dean was just getting to know. Someone part of him wanted to get to know even better.

He wanted to feel Sam, wanted to feel his hands on his hips, his mouth on his skin, he wanted to feel him everywhere. He wanted to know what it'd be like to feel Sam in him, controlling him, making love to him. That was the thought that brought him so much shame. He wanted his brother to make love to him like he made love to those women, but what did Dean ever do to deserve that? He'd done nothing. He'd ridiculed his brother, he'd been an ass about things, and now, what did he expect? That pouring out his emotions, apologizing on his knees, that that would make Sam feel the same way about him?

Dean turned, curling up on the hotel bed, not bothering with a blanket as he let his thoughts ease his way into a sleep as fitful as they were. He knew Sam was watching him, but pretended he wasn't, pretended he wasn't freaking his brother out yet again. He could pretend, for Sam's sake. He could pretend a lot. Pretend his dreams of Sam kissing him before shooting him through the heart were nightmares. Pretend the thought of Sam watching him as he slept wasn't a good one.

Hell, if it was for Sam, Dean could pretend he could still see traces of the little girl he had rocked to sleep. Though if he let himself see it, he'd admit that lie was all for himself, and he knew it didn't matter to Sam at all.


End file.
